Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek.
Airlines have one goal.
Fill every seat as much as you can for each seat.
So when it comes to upgrades, it’s easy to assume that you’re only going to get your status or offer your miles.
But what about your guile?
A Flight Attendant for a large U.S. airline just gave an interview to Vice , in which she reveals some of the truths of flying.
Please assume the position brace.
This Flight Attendant said that if you’re on a plane, it’s still possible to get upgraded.
Personally, I’ve seen Flight Attendants crabbily insisting that a self-upgrading country passenger whatever cost the upgrade would entail.
Which, given that this is a last-minute upgrade, is often a highly inflated figure.
This Flight Attendant, however, suggests something different.
“Wait until you’re on the do-it-yourself gateway.” “But you’re on the safe side, make sure you have something to give your flight attendants,” she said.
Something? What sort of something?
“Give me candy and I’ll give you whatever you want,” she said. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours, and it’s not going to affect me negatively, or there are first class seats. and I can still eat my first class meal if I’m up there, I’ll put you up there.
She also suggested Starbucks gift cards. Not many Flight Attendants are extremely well paid, you know.
She did not admit that this is her personal addiction. Other Flight Attendants are, she said, we have a power trip, so they love keeping you in your place.
However, she did offer one alternative.
“You can lie and say you work for the airline,” she said. “If they think you’re in the biz, they might hook you up.”
So there you have it. Candy, Starbucks and lies. The keys to comfort in the skies.
Entertainingly, she also offered in the interview that it does not matter if you do not turn your phone off for takeoff.
She does not.
And as for getting up to, say, go to the restroom when the plane is taxiing, she offered a painful reaction.
“You’re not allowed to get there when you go to the gate, but we’re going three miles an hour. HAD to have happened for them to have made the rule. At least, that’s the bullshit excuse they gave us during training, “she said.
Tell that to the Delta Passenger who went to the loo just before takeoff. He was immediately reprimanded, the plane went back to the gate he was kicked off .
Power trip, perhaps? Or perhaps he did not have a Starbucks gift card to hand.